An Irish Style Drinking Guide
By Lucia Rossi
Wake up and smell the Irish coffee!
St.Patrick’s day is coming up and you know what that means: green clothes, green beer, and hopefully no sickly green faces. Although I’m sure there will be some, this doesn’t have to be you.
If you couldn’t get the day off work the day after St.Patty’s then maybe you should try not to be hungover for your shift. Bar crawls aren’t easy, but with some discipline you’ll be a trooper. If you’re drinking all day, here are some helpful things you should remember to make the most of it.
First, brush your teeth with a bottle of Jack. Nah, just kidding. You need to eat first before you go anywhere. Imagine you’re in 50 Shades and Christian Grey is yelling at you to eat. Listen to him! Eat before you go to the bar and eat at the bar and after. This will allow you to hold your liquor longer and may steer you away from throwing up. You don’t want to be that person who gets drunk soon after they arrive at the first bar right?
Let’s talk green attire. You’re going to need comfortable shoes, I know heels look nice but they’re not suitable for a drinking marathon. If you wear them, your feet with regret it and you could end up being one of those dirty bare footed drunks. You need sneakers or boots. Your other clothing choices should be comfortable as well. Skip the dress and go for a cute shirt with jeans. Protect yourself from angry horny drunkards as well as spilled drinks, chilly weather and your crazy dance moves. If you end up puking over a toilet, your knees will appreciate it. Wear a light sweater or jacket as well, it makes to keep you warm, its fashionable, and makes for a good pillow when black out mode hits.
If you don’t trust yourself with your belongings while intoxicated, then try to bring as little as possible. Bring your ID, plenty of cash (no cards), house key, your phone, and maybe breath mints just in case you throw up. If you take your card, guard it with your life and be sure to CLOSE YOUR TAB at every bar. Gratuity with a massive percentage will be added on overnight. Also, do remember where your card is at all times so when you wake up, you don’t freak out. Honestly, you’ll get through drinks and bars quicker if you just use cash. Throw down the green and keep the plastic at home, and be sure to have extra for a cab.
BYOB, bring your own bottle…of water. Drink it often, and refill it. You need to stay hydrated so its wise to bring one for in between bar excursions. You should drink one glass of water at each bar, this will help pace yourself for the more intense partying at night. If you take a shot, drink water. You need to keep a balance going in order to keep up your endurance.
This brings me to my next point, don’t rush and know your limits. A bar crawl on ST. Patty’s day is about enjoying the gradual experience, not getting wasted before midnight. Take it slow and enjoy it. Remember, this is a marathon and not a sprint. Try to keep a balanced progression of drinking, like first some green beers, then water, then eating a snack, then some mingling, then drinking again. Pace yourself, you have plenty of time. Feel the buzz and savor it. Save the Irish whiskey shots for later. Also, save the drinking games for later, they can mess you up quick. If you do get totally smashed beyond repair, pull out of the pub and go home. No shame, it happens to the best of us.
If possible, halfway through the day, go home to shower, nap and eat. This will prepare you tremendously for the night partying. Then meet your friends at the bar and show you’re ready for more while they sluggishly try to hold on. You’ll be feeling refreshed for hours.
It’s always good to have a sober BFF with you. They can drive, they can hold your hair up when you puke, they can tell the bartender what you’re really saying, they can honest and say the person you’re hooking up with is ugly, they can watch where your phone is, and they can take you home or to the hospital when needed. If you’re in a group of friends, stick to them! Don’t stray or go home and not tell anyone. No need for panic when everyone is just trying to have a good time.
Have drunk etiquette at the bar. To put it simply, don’t be a douche. If you bump into someone, apologize. Don’t start any dumb fights, it makes for a nice story but not for a nice face. Alcohol can change people’s moods dramatically, so be cordial to avoid anyone’s dark side. If someone is being a douche to you, tell the bouncer and get their ass thrown out. Surely they will be glad to since it would effect business.
If you’re in the city area, don’t be surprised that there are a lot of police officers out. No heckling the police officers. They are trying to handle the drunk folk who are out of control, don’t be one of them. Don’t act tough, just respect and feel sorry that this is how they have to pend their day. They could probably use a drink more than you.
As I mentioned before, try to have off of work the day after St.Patty’s. Don’t risk going into work looking and feelings like a hungover zombie. It won’t make the company you work for look good and it makes you look unprofessional. Stay home. Drink A LOT of water, take an asprin, eat yummy carbs, and sleep. You need your beauty rest because you might be a hot mess.
The main thing to remember is to be smart and safe. If you are drinking do NOT drive, get a cab or call a friend. Cops will be out itching to give DUIs. Don’t put yourself at risk for an accident. You’re there to party, not end up in the hospital. Please make the right choices, and have fun.
Categories: Livin' La Vida Lucia