The Tricks and Trade Behind Living Through Traditional Parenting
By Kinza Khan
Many parents that have a different way of thinking about things than their kids tend to butt heads, a lot.
Its even more difficult when said parents come from a strict background. Usually parents that come from a foreign background tend to be more strict than those who were born here.
In a majority of cases, foreign parents hold on to their cultural and religious values and instill the same values they grew up with into their kids.
They completely disregard the time period in which they grew up, no matter how much has changed.
Kids that grow up here aren’t going to have the same experiences as their parents, so in some cases the parents adapt to modern society but otherwise it’s all old school.
Foreign parents tend to be a lot stricter when it comes to dating or even associating with members of the opposite sex.
For example, many South Asian parents are very wary of the friendship between a male and female. Many parents don’t want their kids to mix with the opposite sex.
According to the Asia Journalist Association (AJA), the last years of high school or college are a common time for young Koreans to search for a dating partner.
Growing up Muslim, I wouldn’t even be allowed to speak about my guy friends. In my parent’s mind, it was like they didn’t want them to exist.
They were raised to dislike when a guy and a girl were friends because it was seen as inappropriate. And if the opposite sexes needed to be in close vicinity, there were strict boundaries in place.
The strictness wasn’t only limited to male and female relationships, it went across all forms of social interactions.
There were no overnight trips from school not many sleepovers with friends from school unless the parents had done their thorough research on the family.
There were a few trips that growing up I would have loved to go to but my parents feared those trips more than anything. Boys would be there with a very limited amount of supervision so it wasn’t allowed.
The concept of what other people think is a huge deal to foreign parents.
Several of my friends, of various races, who have parents that came from different countries claim that the main focus in their households growing up was the acceptance and opinions of others, specifically within the community and family.
I didn’t have a social life at all growing up because I was afraid of a friend or family member saying something to my parents.
The idea of someone saying anything, regardless of whether they knew me personally or not, was very scary.
Until I got to college and spoke about this issue excessively to my parents, they didn’t understand why I was so adamant on leading a slightly more liberal life.
Foreign parents generally have issues with being too overprotective which leads to their offspring with a lacking social life.
There’s no way to cure the strict ways of foreign parents. The only thing you can do is try and explain things as calmly and positively as possible.
I know from personal experience, yelling to get them to understand right away isn’t the greatest way of handling things.
If you want them to take you more seriously, gradually speak to your parents about some of the issues or problems you are having.
Don’t attack them and definitely don’t say they’re wrong for feeling the way they do. Mention that it’s time that you grew up a little and explain to them why.
Obviously they mean well and they have good reason to be as strict and overprotective as they are, but sometimes easing up a little isn’t the worst thing.