Sex and Relationships

How to be Single

Why it Might be Okay to End Up Alone

By Kinza Khan

There are questions we all ask ourselves at one point or another: What if I end up alone? What if no one loves me? What if I never find “the one?”

How do you bring yourself to ACCEPT being single? Heads up, I’m not talking about drowning your “sorrows “ with a bottle of tequila (not that there’s anything wrong with that. If that’s how you want to deal, then you do you boo boo).  

I’m talking about how you might come to terms with the possibility that you never know what could happen and that you might have to accept being alone.

As depressing as it sounds, it just may happen. Not everyone ends up with a “fairytale ending.” Not that I think it exists…  

There could be a number of reasons as to why you might end up without your “soulmate.” It’s not meant to be cynical or depressing, but merely a fact of life.

Now, I’m not saying you should only care about  loving yourself, even though loving yourself is exactly what you should be doing. What I am saying is that you don’t HAVE to end up with someone.

There tends to be such a stigma when it comes to being single, especially when the holiday season rolls around, more so with women then with men, but the stigma remains regardless.

The idea of ending up with someone is portrayed everywhere in movies, books and social media.

We, as a society, have put this pressure on ourselves when in reality there is no guarantee you will be happy with in a relationship with someone.

There is a societal pressure of getting married and having a family, but who’s to say you’ll find happiness in that?

Why might you end up alone, you ask?

Maybe you were in love with someone and it didn’t work out for whatever reason.

That alone could leave you with a perpetual fear of getting hurt and maybe you just don’t want to have to go through that again and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Or maybe, you are just unfit for companionship or don’t feel like it’s right; there could be a number of reasons.

Now, here’s how to actually go about being single.

Learn how to be okay being by yourself. Instead of worrying about relying on some guy or girl to make you happy, create it yourself (yes it sounds cheesy and cliché, but go with it trust me.)

Take yourself out for a nice meal and treat yourself. Since you are single, you have all that extra money lying around…I kid, I kid, but seriously, treat yourself, you deserve it.

Learning how to be okay on your own will be one of the first steps with helping you realize that its completely fine being single.

It helps you realize that you shouldn’t be relying on anyone else for your own happiness.

Is it nice to share your life with someone? Yes, of course it is, but it isn’t necessary if it doesn’t happen naturally.  Being single can be just as self-fulfilling as a relationship. You can still work on building self-confidence, self-esteem and everything in between. Personal growth doesn’t suddenly halt when your Facebook relationship status is set to single.

If you condition yourself to believe that you can’t grow on your own then your mindset needs a serious shift.

Unfortunately, there’s no magic solution you can drink to realize this, it’s something you’ll have to come to yourself.

Understand that you’re good enough all by yourself.

You’re a valuable person, and you don’t need the approval of anyone else for that to be true.

When you’re alone, remind yourself that it’s because you choose to be. Yes, it really is a choice.

If you want to spend the rest of your life without any form of companionship there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.  

It’s very easy to find someone to spend time with, but when you have high standards for the people you allow into your life and stick to them, you’re telling yourself that you’re better off alone than with someone who isn’t a great fit for you.

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