How To Have A Healthy Relationship, As Explained By Long-Term Relationship People
By: Beren Sabuncu
Love is beautiful. If you have the right person in your life, you change for the better, and are mostly happy.
Yet even if you have found the right person for you, there are so many faux-pas of a healthy relationship. We’ve asked people in relationships for their opinions on what makes a relationship healthy.
Aisha H., who has been in a happy and healthy long-distance relationship for two months says, “I have three words for you: commitment, honesty and understanding.” This also goes for any and all interpersonal relationships, but obviously more so in romantic relationships.
Katrina D., who has been in a happy relationship for over 9 months says, “I don’t put pressure on matters, I just go with the flow. I don’t get jealous over small stuff, but when I do feel jealous I let him know. Communication is key.”
Gizem U., who is 23 years old and has been in a loving relationship for more than 4 years gives incredible relationship advice that should be listened to, no matter your age.
“Both parties should have their own separate friend groups. They should spend time without each other and with their separate group of friends every once in awhile,” she says, and how very correct.
Having only one shared friend group isn’t healthy. Introducing friends to each other may be a good idea, but have your own friends so as to not feel suffocated. Having personal space is always good.
“Some of your friends might not like your beau, and that’s alright. Your beau might not like them, and that’s fine too. So long as they can keep it civil and drama-free, they don’t have to be friends. Same of course goes with you and his friends!” says Gizem.
You are in a relationship and your friends should respect that, even if they don’t necessarily like the person you’re with. “Double dates are good ideas for people who have been friends for a good amount of time, yet if you’re just getting to know a couple, it’s not necessarily the best idea to go on a holiday with them.
Doing so may not be the best idea, causing fights or putting a strain on the relationship.” It’s unnecessary, so remind yourself that a relationship is made up of two people.
“You don’t need to tell everything to the other person, there could be some secrets and that’s alright” says Gizem.
Telling your partner everything could cause unwanted tension.
For example, if you have a friend flirting with you, just take that person out of your life. You don’t need to create a situation in which your significant other would feel the need to do something rash.
It’s tacky, and a bad idea.
“Both parties should have hobbies, school and/or a job that keeps them busy. If you are a busybody and the other person isn’t, it would create a one-sided relationship, and that is not healthy.” There are few things less attractive than a dependent person. For some it might be an ego boost to know that their partner wants/needs them all the time, but for most it’s draining.
“You have to spend time with him when you’re not necessarily at your most polished. You shouldn’t be afraid to go out with him when you’re sick or tired.” This particular piece of advice from Gizem is so important. Being scruffy is never a good idea, even when you’re not going to see them, but when you don’t feel like looking what you deem is your ‘best,’ that is perfectly fine.
If they’re not okay with it, then there is a problem in the relationship. “Opinions on burping, passing gas, one entering the bathroom while the other one pees differs from one relationship to the next, but that’s where I draw a line. I would personally not prefer to be that casual.” This is Decency 101, really. There is a very fine line between being comfortable, and being nasty. It’s all natural, but it’s also etiquette.
Relationships can be supportive and healthy, or codependent and draining.
They are what you make of them, and of course there are no set rules for a healthy relationship. Make your own, these are just some that have worked before. Just remember, relationships are meant to be fun.