Sex and Relationships

When The Love You Give Is Unrequited

The Healing Powers of Self-Love

By William Morton

Those who complain about trivial problems in relationships should feel grateful for actually being in any type of relationship that involves mutual feelings with a significant other. I was in the pursuit of love and the love I gave wasn’t returned.

It was the typical story: I found a girl attractive, but the only difference in this story is that in the end I was friendzoned…

I wanted to relax, cuddle up with her and watch some type of movie. Then I discovered that she was fond of someone else. I was the gawky kid who asked out the lovely girl: what were the chances of that working out in my favor?

It felt like I sprinted to the top of the love mountain, but experienced an avalanche.  When I looked at her, I had to rearrange my cognitivity so that there was room for her grace.

I forget the song that was playing when she and I first danced, but I could actually recognize what emotion the song had spoke on, cliche right? Sometimes that’s just how it goes.

The shift from that happiness to depression after getting snubbed made me feel obsolete like some vintage payphone. The ironic thing is that payphones required change to function, and I changed my style to please her, but the result wasn’t what I expected. The content of unrequited love is made of the sighs of those who have experienced it.

It has been my experience that unrequited love is common amongst the youth of today. To those who know the feeling, don’t let it make you have low self-esteem.

Don’t binge drink to try to regain swag you thought you didn’t have. What you should do is have appreciation for your personality. Have fun doing what you enjoy doing. The French equivalent to unrequited love is called la douleur exquise, which basically means hurting over someone or something you can’t have.

One type of relationship that is very much like unrequited love is parasocial relationships. According to an article titled “Parasocial Relationships: The Nature of Celebrity Fascinations” written by Howard Doctoral students, “Parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other’s existence. Parasocial relationships are most common with celebrities, organizations (such as sports teams) or television stars.”

If you experience unrequited love and have the same charitable style, the love you need is deep.

I think the type of love that is the most concrete is the one that isn’t returned because it not only requires emotional strength to admit how you truly feel, but also to deal with the harsh reality that those feelings are not reciprocated.

Don’t fret about what could have been; look at what could happen. There is going to be a person who thinks you are perfect, but you have to wait. The love that is going to bloom and be treasured is the one that is mutual.

Get your priorities balanced; it will help you to attract the one you want or possibly the one you need. The fact is, you are your own treasure. Self-love is the first step to getting mutual feelings in a relationship.

Confidence is thought to be sexy, and what better way is there to boost your self-esteem than by knowing that you had the confidence to go up to the one that you like, say how you feel about them and regardless of the result, have the motivation to continue to entertain your self-growth and teach yourself how to love someone else, and most importantly yourself.

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