Sex and Relationships

Has Dating Got You Down?

10 Mistakes We Make When Dating Someone

By: Brielle Sparacino

Whether you’ve been in a relationship with someone for two months or two years, you’re bound to make mistakes.

Some are more of an issue than others, like being too clingy, but there are many mistakes people make that are common but aren’t spoken about as often.

A common mistake, especially in modern society, is lack of communication with your partner.

Due in part to the rapid advance in technology, communication between two people is done primarily through messaging and social media.

When there’s an actual issue within the relationship, one or both partners will post on social media about how they’re dissatisfied about something the other did, but when they’re approached about it in real life, and they can’t seem to properly convey how they feel. 

Being honest with each other and talking about what’s really bothering you in person is one of the best ways to ensure a happy, healthy relationship.

A second way to ensure a happy, healthy relationship is to allow yourself to trust the other person.

Even if you aren’t officially in a relationship but are headed in that direction, you want to trust that that person cares for you the same way you care for them and wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.

This can be difficult to achieve, especially if you deal with mental disorders like anxiety or depression, or if you feel a certain way based on previous relationships that never worked out.

However, new relationships are new beginnings; this is your chance to shed your old ways and start fresh.

Failing to keep your past relationships in the past is another mistake many continue to make.

This includes comparing your previous partner to your current one, doubting their feelings for you as well as their actions, etc. Leave all of that old, unnecessary baggage behind and let things develop naturally with that special someone.

Being overprotective is the fourth mistake one has the potential to make when in a relationship or dating someone.

If a partner becomes overprotective of you, that is the foundation of a more serious situation, such as various forms of abuse and gaslighting, which is when someone manipulates another person to believe that something was their fault, even though it wasn’t in any way.

Being overprotective can be avoided if you’re up-front about what you’re feeling, but if it continues, that relationship isn’t worth pursuing.

The fifth mistake, which has become extremely common in the modern age, is pettiness.

In case anyone forgot, we are all grown-ups. We are fully-fledged adults; we aren’t in high school anymore where if someone did something mean to you, you’d have to get even or hold a grudge.

We’ve already got Taylor Swift in this world, and she’s petty enough for everyone. Don’t be her.

Another mistake is being too dependent on your partner whether it’s physically, financially, emotionally, etc. Your partner is not supposed to complete you; they are there to support you, care for you and help you grow as your own person.

Being able to share your life with someone else and grow together is simply a bonus.

Mistake number seven has got to be overthinking everything while you’re dating a specific person.

If you are constantly doubting how you feel towards someone or how they feel about you, refusing to believe them when they compliment you, or jumping too far ahead of where the relationship is in real time, you’re going to have a problem.

As I said before, dealing with this kind of issue when also dealing with a mental disorder is difficult, but you’ve got to get out of your own head. Ninety percent of the time, you’re making a huge deal out of nothing.

The previous statement leads to mistake number eight, which is failing to trust your gut.

Ninety percent of time, you’re most likely making a huge deal out of nothing, but the other ten percent of the time, you could have a much more pressing situation on your hands.

If you feel like something isn’t right, that’s because it probably isn’t. Don’t hesitate to talk to your partner about how you’re feeling; it will ease your mind and usually prevent a bigger problem from happening in your relationship.

Yet another mistake we make in relationships or when dating someone is believing we can change them.

Everyone believes they can be that one person who will make a girl bad or a guy good, and that is simply not the case.

You cannot change someone who does not want to be changed; that is a personal decision they alone have to make. If they don’t want to change, they aren’t worth your time anyway.

Last but not least, is one of the most common mistakes of all: failing to realize that perfection doesn’t exist.

I’m not saying you should settle, but you also have to remember that no one is perfect.

We all have our flaws; that is what makes us human, and as humans, all we can do is be ourselves and do the best we can, and possibly find a meaningful relationship along the way. 

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