Let’s Get Something Straight: Not Having Kids Is Not Selfish
By: Jennifer Weeks and Lucia Rossi
When it comes to embarking on the journey to parenthood, fewer women are choosing not to take on that chapter of their lives.
This has been an ongoing trend; but when women say they don’t want to have children, we are immediately judged for our decision of not procreating.
A woman who decides she doesn’t want to procreate should not be judged, nor should she feel ashamed of their decision because it’s their life.
Each woman has their own reasons for not wanting to bear children; here are some of the most common ones.
It’s not surprising that children aren’t always financially feasible. Unfortunately, having children means having the financial stability you need to support them.
Not all women or couples are financially independent or well-prepared.
There are also women who grew up watching their parents struggle and don’t want their children to grow up the same way, even if it means not having children at all.
If a woman is very career orientated, it would be difficult to provide children with the necessary motherly-care and attention they deserve.
The ability to have that time to connect with children is important to their development, so if a woman chooses to not have any for their sake, it should be seen as protection for the potential life, not selfishness.
Although women could attain outside help, babysitters, nannies, and daycares can be expensive and sometimes not trustworthy.
Some women today also have fears about passing down mental and physical health issues. It’s also very possible that a woman would choose not to have children for the sake of their own health that could be at risk.
Getting assistance with designer genes for having healthy children is also a serious expense.
Some women don’t have children merely because of fear. This fear could mean different things to different women.
It could be fear of losing their identity, fear of it helping or hurting their relationships, fear of a change in lifestyle, fear of responsibility, fear of the large influence a parent has over a child, among others.
These are all valid fears that mothers confront everyday, but we shouldn’t shame those who don’t want to confront it.
When having a child, your life suddenly revolves around them; everything you do involves taking care of them. We, as a society, have to accept and respect that some people aren’t prepared for that.
A woman should not be labeled as “self-absorbed” or “selfish” just because they decide to do what’s best for themselves and what they believe is best for their nonexistent children by not having them.
America has given all women the right to choose and self-determination, and people have no right to force or pressure their opinions on women just so they can live according to society’s norms.
Sorry if you don’t agree with our life choices, but it’s not your business anyway.