Sex and Relationships

Porn + Relationship = ?

Pros and Cons of Porn Use in Relationships

Porn might be costing you your relationship. Photo Credit: idiva.com

By: Dominick Wojtas

Believe it or not, porn has been around for thousands of years before the internet; a vast number of artifacts have been discovered from ancient Mesopotamia depicting heterosexual intercourse.

Like other forms of art and entertainment, porn’s modes have been constantly shifting since those ancient times: from sculptures and paintings, to photos in magazines; from tapes and DVD’s, to the current medium of choice—the World Wide Web.

Even though porn has been around since the dawn of society and its appeal doesn’t seem to be weakening anytime soon, it remains controversial—a force that even holds the power to wreck homes.

Most pornography never demonstrates real intimacy; it doesn’t do so well at taking cues from real-life. The most enticing type of porn is generally the most refined. These men and women are hired actors that have been polished up with makeup, surgery, and performance enhancing drugs.

It may be fun to imitate these actors but it’s important to understand that what’s onscreen is artificial; not everybody can be a movie star.

Reach for the moon, but don’t be upset if you land on a star. As long as you and your partner are putting in the effort, making sure each-other is sexually content, you’re doing great.

Porn displays fucking, and nothing more. Complete sexuality employs both the body and mind. Porn bypasses emotion—a relationship doesn’t—remember that.

Another argument against porn is that dulls up your erotic senses. If you eat food that is spicy, it tends to disfigure your taste buds for the duration of the meal, sometimes leaving you unable to properly register the taste of more neutral foods.

Porn can have the same effect. Simple love-making and nakedness are no longer sufficient when you’ve become accustomed to hardcore—overly spicy—erotica.

But many believe that there are significant benefits pornography may hold in terms of relationships.

Most species are not wired for monogamy and humans don’t break this trend. Since we are designed for sex with multiple partners, but aspects of society and human nature tell us (ironically) that one partner is the favorable way to live, one can argue that pornography is an acceptable way to explore our natural, polygamistic fantasies.

Porn helps individuals play these impulses out in a controlled environment, so-to-speak. Studies exist that suggest pornography may be making the world a safer place. Reason Magazine’s Peter Suderman suggests that “pornography and violent entertainment might serve as

exhaust valves for our aggressive impulses.” It appears that sexual violence decreases as access to pornography increases.

The question, “Does pornography have a place in your relationship?” can only be answered by yourself. The way in which you answer the following questions will help you determine if porn can can work for you, or if it’s better to avoid it all together.

  • Am I accepting porn as a glorified, artificial representation of a sacred act that is near-impossible to translate with meaning to real life?
  • Does my partner accept the way I’m using pornography, or want to be a part of it?
  • Are my expectations of my partner fueled by porn?

If you answered yes, yes, and no, then porn doesn’t have a detrimental grip on your life and you may actually benefit from it.

If you answered differently, then it may be time to take a break from the stuff, and divert all your sexual energy towards your partner in hopes of attaining a more wholesome experience.

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