Sex and Relationships

I’m So F-ing Grateful for My Ex

Ariana Grande’s “thank u, next” Teaches Us Love, Patience, and Pain

By: Veronica Pistek

A sassy, satirical, self-love anthem that reminds us to thank our exes for all of their lessons. (Credit:

Break up songs: they drive us to seek revenge on our ex, point out all of the flaws of our past lover, and even leave us swimming in a pool of our own tears.

That is, until pop-singer Ariana Grande has crafted a song titled “thank u, next” that empowers every listener to feel appreciation for their ex, but more importantly- unconditional love for yourself.

This number one Billboard hit not only addresses all of the pop-star’s famous exes such as Big Sean, Pete Davidson, and Mac Miller, but also acts as a cathartic uplifting song that anyone who has experienced love can relate to.

Grande starts off the track by sharing how one of her exes has taught her love, one taught her patience, and one taught her pain, leaving her amazing.

In relationships, no matter the circumstance, we learn so much about our partner. Especially if you and your significant other have been together for quite some time.

When you begin to love someone so much, you learn their quirks, weaknesses, feelings, thoughts- the list can go on and on.

Learning to experience love fully for the first time is scary. Having a partner that treats you special and appreciates your existence teaches you that you indeed are capable of being loved.

But when you love someone so much despite their major flaws, it highlights a part of your character that you might not have tapped into otherwise.

Patience. It is the capacity one can maintain without becoming angry, frustrated, hurt, or upset. Often, we want to leave our lover when we feel hurt and ignore them when arguments begin.

In a perfectly crafted melody, Grande highlights the idea that our lovers teach us this patience that we may not have realized existed within us all along.

The singer also reminds us of the pain that comes with breakups. Yes, an idea that has been over exhausted, but is the reality behind all ruined relationships.

While this song acknowledges this reality of pain, it actually inspires listeners to handle and grow from the hurt to become the best version of yourself.

That is when the shocking lyrics appear in the song. During the first listen, one might be subconsciously bashing Grande for her many past lovers…and how she moves on too quickly.

The line that threw the pop culture world a curveball is: “Plus, I met someone else/We havin’ better discussions/I know they say I move on too fast/But this one gon’ last/’Cause her name is Ari/And I’m so good with that.”

These lyrics, seemingly simple, show a side of Grande that she has minimally showcased in her upbeat hits in the past.

To break it down,  moving on quickly to mask the pain from your previous relationship is something that many of us resort to.

It is easy to seek out a new partner for comfort and to replace your heartbreak with feelings of novelty and love.

Despite Grande being guilty of moving on fast multiple times, she has finally expressed her realization that she is the only person who can fulfill her completely.

This is so important for anyone who has just removed themselves from a relationship to hear. In life, the one person that we can count on having a forever with is ourselves.

Yes, it is an uphill battle to accept yourself fully for who you are.

However, once you endure bursting feelings of love, life-testing patience, and heart-sinking pain, you realize that you are capable of expressing the things you hope that someone would do for you.

This sassy, satirical, self-love anthem provides us with the motivation to thank our exes for all of their contributions to our life.

While we may have been inundated with breakup songs encouraging us to remain angry at our exes actions, or even hold out and wait for them to come back, Grande presents a fresh voice of empowerment to move on and grow.

Learning about a lover’s life and losing them as a part of yours provides us with a closer lens to examine our own worth.

In order to fully accept that you have lost love with someone you may have thought would last forever, you must be grateful for all of the things they have taught you.

By expressing appreciation and gratitude for all of the lessons, memories, and hardships that an ex has taught you, you should begin to feel amazing and have the power to say “thank u, next.”

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