Lifestyles

Ladies: It’s Time to Take Control of the Romantic Playground

A Call to Bring that Female Charm to the Forefront

By Briana DelBuono

We’ve come along way from the generation that believed women’s first and only place was the kitchen. But how far have we really gotten?

It appears we have derailed in terms of romance. This day and age, you have to be some sort of magician to get a guy to ask you on a proper date instead of waiting for him to ask you to “Netflix and Chill.”

We still live in an age in which there’s a certain stigma against women being the first to ask men out on a date, or text first, or pay for dinner, or to initiate sex.

It frightens me that we’ve stopped fighting for those images to disappear from our understanding of romance.

Sure we fought for the right to vote and to get a job in the work place of our choice, which is all good and well, but we are still second to men and there will be many years before we see a change.

So what can we do?

We can start by actively fighting to change the unofficial rules of society that men typically have the upper hand over us, have higher wages, more responsibility, etc.

Eventually this will change.

But first we need to start taking control of our bodies and ourselves. Figure out what you want, and strive for it. If you want something or someone, go get it.

Stop wondering if he’s going to text you first, and start texting him first.

What’s the difference? Why is it that we feel like we are being annoying when we are the ones to pick up the phone and make the call?

If you look good, you will feel good. So take pride in your appearance and it may help you get the confidence to ask for what you want instead of waiting for a guy to give it to you. There’s a reason why guys get denied and still get back out there. They simply don’t take it personally—and you shouldn’t either.

Who’s to say a woman can’t ask a guy out on a date or propose to a man? Some men argue that it is emasculating for women to take charge in the realm of dating.

“It doesn’t make you less of a man for a woman to be the one in charge of making that decision to further a relationship,” Stephanie Horstman, 22 said. “Why is it supposed to be the man’s job?”

Why do we have to wait until men choose to marry us? Why can’t we choose to marry them? Why is it ultimately their decision whether marriage is even brought up or not? We sit as our friends comfort us by saying, “He’s just not ready yet.” Well, what if we are?

These are the questions that flood my mind every time I hear a fellow girl complaining about why chivalry is dead and about how men don’t treat women the way they’re supposed to. My heart breaks for you, Boo-Boo.

You’re damn right it’s dead—and we need to revive it—but not in the traditional ways we thought.

Maybe instead of waiting for a man to buy you flowers, forget about them. Buy him flowers. Treat him to coffee. Take him on a date. Who’s to say we can’t take action and still look and feel feminine?

Femininity has no correlation with submissiveness. Just because we look dainty doesn’t mean we have to act that way. Sure it’s nice to be wined and dined and feel special knowing a guy wants to date you and not your next-door neighbor Audrey-who-models. Being asked out on a date is a confidence boost, for sure, but don’t let that be the be-all, end-all of your love life.

Take control every once in a while. Stop waiting on someone else to make you happy and do it yourself. Don’t wait for him to ask you to dinner, beat him to it. Don’t wait for him to ask you to move in to his apartment, ask him to move into your place. Don’t wait for him to say I love you, say it when you feel it.

Stop letting men have all the firsts and let yourself have a few. You might feel better about it.

After all, what’s wrong with leveling the romantic playground?

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