Sex and Relationships

Don’t Let Anyone Make You Feel Like Being Gay is Not Okay

People in Same-Sex Relationships Should Feel Comfortable Too

By: Jessica Scarimbolo

Two women holding hands, outdoors, mid section (Huffington Post)

As being gay in New York City in 2017 is becoming more normalized, we should realize that we are much more fortunate than someone who was gay in a small city in Iowa in 1980.

However, being a member of the LGBTQ+ community is much more accepting in this city and state compared to others today. Members still find it difficult not to feel a bit self-conscious when holding their partner’s hand in public, let alone kissing them.

Many people in the community find it difficult to “come out of the closet,” in fear of being judged or even harassed and bullied for their choice in romantic partner.

Tragedies such as the shooting at the Pulse Nightclub in Orlando, Florida makes this even more true.

The victims of that tragedy were targeted for the gender of the person they choose to love, something that should be of no concern to anyone.

While some people are brave enough to come out at a young age, others find it too difficult to do so, perhaps causing them to never come out at all.

It is interesting to think that though our society is continuing to grow more accepting of people, but many members of the community still do not feel that they are supported enough to come out.

Being a member of the community, it seems inevitable to take notice of the difficulty couples have doing things that straight couples probably would not think twice about, but it’s finally starting to become more natural.

It seems obvious that a boyfriend would feel completely comfortable kissing his partner in public, unless that partner is also a man.

My girlfriend and I went out dancing last weekend and we were having a great time, almost forgetting that anyone else was even there.

After my girlfriend and I kissed, a guy dancing next to us tapped his friends to get them to look at us, causing me to immediately feel uncomfortable.

I find it hard to believe that if a heterosexual couple kissed while they were dancing together, anyone would make them feel like they were a circus act being pointed at.

Some people could perhaps feel no liberation from coming out; they may actually feel vulnerable and susceptible to ridicule from others.

Michele Foucault, author of The History of Sexuality, argues that once people come out, others understand how to label them, feeling they now know something about the individual’s personality.

Considering heterosexual relationships are much more common and normalized, it is safe to say that a straight person would never find themselves in this type of situation.

So, same-sex couples, how can you finally feel completely comfortable in public with your partner? The answer is simple. Forget everyone’s opinions.

There is no pleasing everyone. This is something members of the community still work on getting better at every single day.

People are afraid of what they do not understand. If someone disrespects you and your partner, you should react in a calm way, a way that makes you comfortable.

That could be anywhere from ignoring them or educating them on the way their words affect two people that they know nothing about.

Moral of the story: try your best to not to be afraid of what people could be thinking about you and your partner.

Enjoy your life as a confident individual alone and in a same-sex relationship.

Our former president, Barack Obama, once tweeted: “No one in America should ever be afraid to walk down the street holding hands with the person they love.”

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