April Fools!

The Bible Plans On Changing The World

This new text is having people questioning everything they’ve ever known.

By: Brielle Sparacino

With its general title and riveting stories, the general public are inquisitive but intrigued by its mysterious allure. (Credit: pinterest.com)

A brand new book that will supposedly shape humanity for future generations has just been released across the world on March 20th, 2018.

This work, simply titled The Bible, has no single author and is around 1200 pages in length. This is also the only book that’s been immediately translated into every single language imaginable.

According to an article on wordcounter.net, the typical Bible, which already has multiple versions but its most popular is the King James version, contains 1,189 chapters and 31,173 verses which come from individuals supposedly called “disciples,” but no one is really sure what those are.

Unbeknownst to many, myself included, there is even a website for the King James version of the Bible; the website is supposed to make understanding the book a little easier since it is supposedly translated from Hebrew and because there are so many sections of the book. There is also a section on the site for Bible trivia.

Apparently, the two most prominent sections in The Bible are the Old Testament and the New Testament. The Old Testament tells the story of everything that happened in the world before the main character, Jesus Christ, was born, and the New Testament recounts the life of Christ, from birth to death.

There is even a concept called “resurrection” discussed in the New Testament, which is spoken about when Christ comes back from the dead; that’s sure to cause some controversy across generations.

One of the most popular stories in The Bible is Genesis, in which a primary character in the first half of the book named God creates the entire universe in seven days. There are others, but I wasn’t able to get through the entire book since my schedule was so busy; I never would’ve finished it anyway.

Something interesting about The Bible is that people are beginning to build these “places of worship” called “Churches” across the United States as well as the rest of the world. This book is supposed to represent the workings of an entire religion called Christianity.

It gets even more complex than the one religion, however. According to experts, Christianity is broken down into what is known as Catholicism, and even that is broken down further into different types of Catholicism. It’s highly recommended one does their own personal research on the subject.

Even though I didn’t make it halfway through the book, there are supposed to be songs one can sing to accompany many of the passages in the work. Hopefully, these songs can be recorded and distributed to the public; Rihanna and Beyonce’s voices would fit perfectly.

What’s most interesting about this work is that once the masses have finished reading it, there seems to be an unspoken rule in place that individuals are supposed to actually believe all the information they read and apply it toward political and social situations in everyday life.

It’s almost like if the Harry Potter books were meant to be taken seriously, even though it’s a proven fact, which was told to us by J.K. Rowling herself, that the only tangible form of Hogwarts’ School of Witchcraft and Wizardry resides in Universal Studios in Orlando, FL.

Because The Bible is a brand new text, many are not sure how far other people will go to defend certain ideas while using the texts from The Bible as evidence to back up their ideas. Regardless, it seems like many people have been enjoying it for the most part, but aren’t taking it too seriously.

From what I was able to actually retain and comprehend, which unfortunately wasn’t too much, I enjoyed The Bible and would rate it four out of five stars for descriptiveness, use of characters going only by one name (God and Satan, you two were such a dynamic duo and my favorite characters by far), and the amount of songs littered throughout the book. It’s definitely worth a read, but don’t take the story to heart.

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