Sex and Relationships

Say Goodbye to the Honeymoon Phase

How to Manage Your Relationship When Things Get Real

By: Jessica Scarimbolo

A couple on a couch movie date. (Credit: twitter.com)

Everyone knows this stage all too well; it’s when you cannot seem to be away from your partner and nothing they do is bothering you, even when you know it very well should be.

Maybe your partner leaves the seat up after he pees or leaves her dirty laundry on the floor of your bedroom, and in the first six months to a year of your relationship, those things don’t bother you at all.

Though this timeframe isn’t the same for every couple, you can identify the honeymoon phase when your relationship constantly feels exciting and new, a feeling that clearly can’t be forever.

Also, when starting a new relationship, nearly every day in the first year contains a new adventure where you each learn something about the other person.

Unfortunately, this happy and carefree phase does not last and it’s important to understand how to manage your relationship as the honeymoon phase begins to fade out.

First, it’s important to understand the difference between losing interest in a person and simply fading out of the honeymoon phase. If you have begun to think about other people because you are simply bored, that person may not be the one.

However, if you just find yourself getting annoyed by the things you once thought were cute but still want to be with them, you two have just left the honeymoon phase. Maybe now you have recognized that your partner sneezes too loud or they don’t fold the laundry correctly, but you still want to be with them.

It is important to remember that though this transition can be scary for couples to go through, it’s a good thing. If you and your lover have made it past the honeymoon phase, it’s a milestone, but now the real tests begin.

After dating for a while, it may feel difficult to have romantic date nights together.  

Remember that while expensive dates are fun once in a while, you two can find fun on a cheap night in.

Now that the honeymoon phase is over, you have to find different ways to spend time together, since all the traditional ways have probably already been done.

Instead of going to an expensive Italian restaurant, you two can order in and eat pizza on the couch while watching a good movie. You can even look up recipes online and make something from scratch.

Also, try to do something new together at least once a week. Look up fun events going on in your area or see if a new movie is playing. Instead of going to your closest movie theater, maybe try a new one in a different place, which will inevitably give the two of you a new experience.

However, these little changes can be fun, the end of the honeymoon phase also means more disagreements. In the beginning, you just agree to disagree because your partner is so cute.

As the honeymoon phase ends and you two become more serious, you’ll realize that you need to get used to arguing and disagreeing.

While you learn all the fun things about your partner in the honeymoon phase, like their favorite food and the movie they can watch 100 times without getting tired of it, the end of the phase forces you to learn the type of person your partner is during and after an argument.

After this phase, it may even feel like the two of you fight more than ever. This is normal!

At this point, the two of you have been together long enough to be annoyed by little things, and to feel comfortable expressing that. The important thing is making sure you learn to pick your battles and understanding how to move past an issue after it comes up.

Maybe the two of you are the type of people to let an argument resolve itself with a few minutes to an hour, or maybe you want to talk about the issue at length until it’s over. Whatever the case may be, you and your significant other will need to learn to argue, and more importantly, how to settle it.

Make sure that though your relationship isn’t new anymore, you two continue to love each other the way you did in the beginning. Make time for one another on busy days the same way you do on your free days and never forget to show your partner the way you love them.

And hey, pat yourselves on the back, if you’ve heard your partner fart and burp more times than you can count and you still like them, the love is definitely real.

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