Sex and Relationships

How to Differentiate Between a Boy and a Man

Save The Drama for Their Mama

By: Roseanne Cassar

After experiencing a rocky end to a relationship a long time ago, I’m only now reflecting on how much impact it has had on my life. I gave myself enough time to get through the hurt and pain and believe that I have gained some clarity in the realm of love.

I struggled to allow myself to let my guard down but knew at some point “you must.” If you don’t, then you’re holding yourself back from a better opportunity with another person.

Maybe that opportunity can turn into something worthwhile, potentially something more tangible like marriage, kids, a dog or a cat or maybe a farm with a lot of land, letting the two of you build a house with a white picket fence.

It is not a bad idea at all. That dream is out there. You need to start looking for that one person that will want to help you fill in the gaps.

It is really hard to find a decent man out there; finding that perfect person is really tricky.

Now the problem isn’t boys, it’s finding a man who isn’t going to try to “play” you. There are two types of “players” out there.

The first kind of players are men who don’t care about a woman’s feelings at all. They will run around with every other woman behind your back and not think twice about it.  

The second kind of players are men who want a serious relationship but they don’t want the commitment that goes along with it. They start to feel suffocated or trapped, which makes them run in other directions.

Ladies, this is very true to what men do and how they react when things start to get serious. They start having thoughts going through their minds and the biggest worry that comes to mind is change.

Change is a huge hurdle for people, particularly men. It’s something that they know exists and they know they have to accept it. Sometimes though, they have difficulty getting through it, so they cry to their friends because their freedom will be cut by more than half.

If you are out there still looking, there are some ways to help you differentiate a boy from a man.

A man knows what he wants and goes for it while a boy may have somewhat of an idea, but not entirely. He doesn’t think too much about it, and even if he does, he doesn’t exert much effort to get it.

A boy is passive while a man is assertive. A man plans for his future and is working towards building a foundation and infrastructure in order to fulfill a purpose or a passion in his life

A boy lives only in the moment and his plans are mostly around which bar he’s going to hit up on the weekend, while a man looks for a woman with intelligence, who is supportive, grounded and encompasses a shared set of values when choosing a partner.

A boy often only cares for girls who are hot, wild and exciting while a man knows a good woman when he meets one and will take initiative to get to know her.

A boy may make an attempt if you’re lucky, but gives up before ever really trying. A man has the courage to have uncomfortable conversations and is honest with his intentions and lets people know where they stand.

A boy avoids confrontation or any serious talks about feelings. Instead of dealing with a situation, he runs away from it or creates excuses to mask the fact he’s not that interested in you or a relationship.

A man knows when to invest in a woman and jump in with two feet. A boy is always “testing” – he doesn’t fully commit because he never knows if he is quite ready. The truth is, because he is a boy, regardless of who he meets, he will never be ready due to the stage of life he is in.

A man knows how to have a good time and be social, but is often busy making strides in his career and building his life. A boy is getting drunk with his buddies at the bar every weekend. A man takes the time to reflect on the type of man he wants to be, the example he wants to leave and the vision for his life.  

He has put thought into his values. A boy has not established his moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent; a man has integrity.

It is important to be happy so I’m hoping these tips help all the women out there who are looking for their soul mates.

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