When It’s Time to Say Goodbye to Unrequited Lust
By: Lucia Elmi
The quest for love isn’t always easy. It takes a lot of hardships, trial and error, and even moments of despair until you find the person that was meant to be in your life.
Along the way, you’ll come across a variety of people with different personalities, values, and personal experiences.
However, for some of us, a majority of those people are those that are just looking for a night of casual sex.
In an age where online dating exists and ‘friends with benefits’ is the new rolling trend of our generation, it is very easy to get caught up in that current.
It only seems to be making it that much more difficult to find those out there that are actively seeking long-term romantic relationships.
If you’re the type of person to attract people only looking for sex, is a matter of personal debate, and a question that only you can answer.
It could be bad luck or something about you that draws such people towards you, but that is something for you to decide, as everyone has experiences unique to them.
Whether or not you picked up on their cues in the first place, is something in and of itself. If you’re the type to be able to read people like a book, you may have picked up on this notion but decided it was still worth giving it a chance.
Who knows? They might just change their mind if they really got a chance to know you.
But one-night stand after another, and it is all to no avail. They just aren’t looking to settle down with someone.
In that moment, you begin to question the fairness of life and wonder what you did to deserve such a fate.
You may question if it is you that’s the problem, and if you may be the reason why things aren’t adding up.
I am here to tell you that none of that matters. Right now, your happiness is what’s important. And in order to be happy you need to set your happiness at the forefront of everyone else’s and set some strict boundaries.
You shouldn’t have to settle for heart-ache after every attempt to find a partner. If a person only wishes to stay in your life for one night, then they should have no place in your heart to fill you with pain. Learning your worth will be your greatest asset.
Patience will also be an important tool in your journey. You must be able to humble yourself and understand that sometimes people are the way that they are, and the world may not always fit your expectations, but that doesn’t mean that you should sacrifice your happiness.
Having peace with the world and with those around you will make the search for love an easier mission.
You must also know your priorities and stick to it. If someone comes along looking for casual sex, by any means, do not take the offer if you know it will not only waste your time, but hurt you in the end.
Be upfront about what you are looking for, that way you can both come to an understanding that you are looking for different things and both be on your merry way.
Finally, if there is anything one can learn out of all this, it is that self-love and unconditional acceptance is what matters most.
Even if you remain single for a while, don’t beat yourself up about it. The right person will come along at a time when you least expect it.
Besides, being single could be a great way to learn more about yourself, your preferences, and how you fit in with the world around you.
Don’t stress and enjoy the journey!
Categories: Sex and Relationships