Sex and Relationships

Mutual and Ego-less Peacocking on a First Date

Connecting Through the Individualism of Outrageous Apparel

By: Summer Martinez

Try dressing boldly to attract your date’s attention. Photo Credit: Audubon.org

The dating game evolves generation after generation, but one thing has always remained the same—we generally tend to conform to dressing a certain way, a way in which we deem our date will likely find attractive.

The style clichés of the general population of millennials, for both men and women, are that we either dress sexy for a date or lean casual, or, more likely, some combination of both. What we don’t do is go out in outfits that may shock our dates. Why would we?

When dating, what we’re aiming for is a mutual connection, and this hope for connection can be largely hindered if we startle someone away with a daring outfit before even saying, “Hi!” This is the general consensus.

But what if we challenged it? I propose that everyone should, at least once, make arrangements with a date to co-dress outrageously, as you meet for the first time.

This proposal works best with blind dates or meeting someone in person who you’ve only previously visually seen through dating apps.

In dressing outrageously, you may be surprised to find the ways in which it can be beneficial. If both parties are willing to take on this daring-outfit experience, it can ease tension by eliminating expectations and even be the perfect conversation starter.

Most importantly, it can be a bold expression of yourself and of your date as you avoid being pressed by social dress-code standards. Outrageousness isn’t quantifiable.

Go at your own pace! Dressing in avant-garde apparel doesn’t mean you have to wear, for instance, a fruit headdress. You don’t have to omit comfort or your own personal style in place of dressing differently than usual.

The point of this playful experiment is to dress without traditional limits, to be saucy and silly, comfy and edgy, or whatever other mix of styles you come across.

If you don’t know where to begin, I encourage that in opposition of traditional harmonies, you seek to create some other sort of balance in which pieces you choose, whether its through pairing complimentary fabrics, implementing a theme, or other modes of stylistic symmetry.

If you want to chat with your date prior to meeting up in the efforts to coordinate and/or be somewhat on the same page for the outfit idea, go for it!

You might not want to wear a 19th century inspired transparent ruffle-sleeved blouse, while your date shows up in a satin gold gown and grunge boots. In fact, it can be a healthy choice to pre-chat about what you and your date might wear.

This could make for an honest and light-hearted conversation as you speak about your stylistic interests, especially if you’re both into fashion and/or each have your own flair in the ways you dress.

Meeting up in this avant-garde way naturally expresses vulnerability and intimacy in that no one else is in on it except you and your date. You’d be sharing the same experience, just the two of you. If onlookers stare at you in curiosity or disapproval, it can serve as a push in developing a bond and connection between you and your date.

People experience enough critique and anxiety as it is, let’s reduce it for a day as you meet your prospective lover boy or gal and actively co-encourage and co-explore each other’s individuality.

If you’re willing to give outrageousness a try, release skepticism. You should have as much fun with it as possible! It’s a great immediate test of compatibility.

If all goes wrong, and your date makes fun of your outfit choices, then screw em’. For whatever ridicule they could give, it would show their lack of ability to have a good time and demonstrates their close-mindedness. You can at least say you were adventurous for a day and would have a story to tell.

Seek and present boldness, intimacy, and creativity in the ultimate exploration of yourself. It is good to also find this in the company of your date. You should wear side-fringed cowboy-esque pants with a white tee and neon bandana, or whatever else you outrageously please.

Besides, in fun and chance, you and your date might be smooching by the end of it all! Play well and strut your stuff!

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