Lifestyles

The Longest Night

A Mad-Libs Story featuring responses by The Banner Staff

By: Monica Ahuja and The Banner Staff

Rosa opened the front door to find two giant dogs staring at her.

Rosa sighed. It was too early for this. She had woken up about 5 years ago. She had quite the night. 

When she got home from work last night, her cousin Bella was in the house; she had not informed Rosa that she would be there and brought along eight other people. They ate all her food leaving only one pizza and destroyed her favorite coffee mug.

If that wasn’t enough, she found one of these unwanted guests walking on the roof. Another invitee was jumping on her bed. Rosa was livid but too tired to do anything about it. 

Since there wasn’t any food in the house she decided to order out. When her food arrived, it was clearly the wrong order as there were about 22 pillows instead of the pizza she ordered.  So, Rosa ate the remaining pizza that was left in her fridge and drank the water that came with her order. 

She was tired. All she wanted was to be left alone, so that she could continue to practice her spelunking in peace. Rosa went upstairs and told her cousin and her friends to stay out of trouble. As she got into her bed and pulled her blanket over her legs, she heard a loud jingle. 

“Stop! What was that?” Rosa called down. 

No one answered so she walked down the stairs and peered over the railing. There was a bus sticking out the side of her house. No one was there; and her cousin and friends were nowhere to be found. Rosa sighed loudly and went back to bed. 

Ten minutes later she came back down, and the bus was still there. 

Rosa looked up at the ceiling and yelled “I don’t know!” It was then that she saw a grasshopper the size of a Greece. She screamed and this time her neighbor heard. Ruby knocked on the door and they had arrived with a pillow in their hand. 

Rosa just looked at Ruby and pulled her by her hand to a spot where they could view the jolly insect. 

Ruby turned around and saw the vehicle in her house. “Rosa there’s a bus in your house.” 

Rosa stopped for a moment and said, “I know. But could you help me deal with this jolly grasshopper. Ruby gulped, “Sure. Um… I’ll be right back.”

After waiting an hour on her front steps, she realized that Ruby was never going to return. As Rosa was about to turn around and go inside, a car pulled up. It was her cousin and the uninvited guests. They were carrying 8 cats in their hands. They walked past Rosa and into the living room where the purple grasshopper that was once on the ceiling was sitting on the one chair that had been spared by the bus. 

Her cousin turned to the grasshopper and said, “Cody! What are you doing here?” 

Rosa who was standing in the doorway watching this unfold said, “You know this grasshopper?”

Bella turned towards Rosa and said, “Yeah. Cody is my best friend. We met each other on a cruise to Puerto Rico last year. We have been close friends ever since.” 

Rosa, utterly confused and quite fed up, replied, “Well that’s great. I need you and all of your friends to get out of my house. Now!” 

Her cousin turned to her and tartly replied, “Fuck! Well, you don’t have to be so rude about it. We are leaving! And by the way, we were going to get you some pretzels later, but forget it now!”

Rosa replied, “I’ll live. Now get out.” 

Ruby and her friends, including Cody, scuttled out of the house and got into the car. Her cousin backed out of the driveway at 17 mph and destroyed her cheerful piano that had somehow ended up on the lawn which was covered in water. 

Rosa, very tired and still confused, went to bed. She was awakened at 11:45 in the morning by the loudest woof she had ever heard.

Still 2/8ths asleep, Rosa walked down the stairs. She opened the door and found two giant and green dogs staring at her. One had the largest leg she had ever seen while the other had the smallest eyes she had ever seen.

Rosa exasperated, screamed, “Boom!” and ran back up to bed and dove under the covers. She fell back asleep until her alarm, which made a kabang, went off. 

Rosa got up and walked down the stairs. She looked at the side of her house and checked her lawn but there was nothing there. Rosa walked back into the house. She smiled and exclaimed, “It was all a dream!” 

She walked into the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee. And there at her kitchen table was Cody sitting on her chair.

Categories: Lifestyles

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