A slutty high schooler is Lucifer reincarnated. What more could you ask for?
By: Sarah Ahmed
Sitting alone in the CSI library, I stared at a blank Google doc, trying to wrap my head around a six page essay due by Thursday night. Two girls behind me speak very loudly, so I barely manage to catch the gist of their conversation. One of them says Lee Papa directed a play, the other says she heard it has “real blood.” I purchased a ticket within 30 seconds.
Nearly every seat in the CSI Lab Theatre was filled on the opening night of “Alice in Slasherland” on Thursday Nov. 13 at 7 p.m. Papa sat in the front seat reserved with his name on it. He would later pull a meta Stan Lee-eqsue cameo (with guts included).
The play opens with your standard horror setup: high school kids who are too drunk and too horny. “Alice in Slasherland” by Qui Nguyen is a hilariously self-aware parody of classic slasher films, paying homage to cheesy thrillers while adding a fresh angle through crass humor with plenty of cursing, raunchy jokes, and even a floppy severed dick tossed across stage.
With any play that includes multiple showdowns against demons, the most important question is how well the fight scenes land. Each battle was well-choreographed and well-paced, with actors coming in clutch at critical moments while still keeping the audience second-guessing if a main character would die.
The trash-talking teddy bear Edgar, whose small fuzzy form was flung across the stage in nearly every encounter, somehow became the best fighter, single-handedly taking down three demons. Ugonna-David Okeiche’s performance as puppeteer and voice actor made the plushie feel alive, perfectly syncing facial expressions with the delivery of each line.
And while no hits actually landed against actors bodies in typical WWE fashion, the realism was made up for in the actor’s guttural voice acting. The high-pitched, comedically timed screams from Margaret (Nelie Ramos) and Lewis (Gary Fleming) helped establish the lighthearted tone of the play, while the bloodcurdling cries from Tina (Jasmine Gonzalez) during their death scenes jolted audience members from their seats.
While the extremely loud screams might make your ears bleed, I was here to confirm one thing.
Yup, there’s blood. And plenty of it.
Tina coughs up blood after being murdered by the Bunny Slasher, excess blood is flicked from a knife as a demon’s throat is slit, and the goriest of all: a nozzle on a wall sprays out red to mimic a possessed Margaret spewing blood all over Lewis.
What I found to be the funniest running gag was how every time blood was spilt on stage, a “We’ll be right back” message was projected on screen while elevator music played and the assistant stage manager, Danielle Kuftiak, walked on stage to start mopping.
Can I just say I love the open abuse of meatheads in this play? I’d even argue the play is subtextually feminist, since the men meet their ends in ways so utterly humiliating to masculinity that it becomes ironic.
My least favorite character, the stereotypical jock with his tired homophobic quips and pervy one-liners, gets exactly what he deserves: he gets eaten alive by Alice in the men’s locker room. Another jock whose only plan to survive against demons is to flex his muscles and beat them up has his other masculine appendage (i.e., his penis) ripped off and discarded in disgust by a cheerleader.
Lewis stands out as the sole voice of reason throughout the night and a symbol of positive masculinity. Though initially set up as the Nice Guy stereotype after being rejected by Margaret, he consistently steps up to protect the girls, screams shamelessly when his life is in danger, and, most importantly, knows when to run instead of stubbornly fight.
You’d think his horror-survival skills would make him the last one standing. You’d be wrong.
Pure guts. Pure glory.
My only critique: I didn’t get to finish my essay that night.
