April Fools!

The Best Things in Life are Cheese: No Carbs No Shame

The Diet of Your Dreams Comes True

By: Lucia Rossi

Dieticians and nutritionists have finally united and support the best diet you’ve ever heard of: The Everything Cheese Diet.

That’s right. You can have all the cheese you want and drop some extra pounds in the process, thanks to the magic nutrients and components of cheese.

This includes all kinds of cheese like feta, provolone, Monterey Jack, mozzarella, cheddar, gouda, asiago, brie, cream cheese, cottage cheese, mascarpone, ricotta, Pecorino Romano, gruyere, swiss, Colby, muenster, pepper jack, Parmigiano-Reggiano, American, fontina, the list goes on. Feeling hungry yet?

Columbia University actually found that students would rather give up oral sex than cheese. Now you never have to worry about making such a choice, because both are healthy for you.

What’s better than mac & cheese and orgasms? Nothing.

Women’s Health encourages women to make some serious cheese swaps for everyday snacks and toppings.

Instead of spreading butter, lay on the mascarpone because it has fewer calories and is just as rich. If you love sandwiches, switch the mayo out with cream cheese because it also has less calories. Why have potato chips when you could have fresh mozzarella? The level of protein will make you feel full.

You should also rely on cottage cheese and ricotta for dipping instead of hummus or crème fraiche because of the protein value and the intensely indulgent taste.

The all-cheese diet should have a smooth transition from your regular diet because it doesn’t have crazy strict boundaries like other diets do. It can be really relieving that there are no calorie restrictions.

It’s as easy as taking whatever you’re already eating, and simply adding cheese on top. Eat it raw, or cook it, the possibilities are endless.

It’s no secret that cheese is an excellent source of calcium that builds strong teeth and bones. However, you also need calcium for cell signaling, blood clotting, muscle contractions, and nerve functions.

Cheese also has certain vitamins that are essential to beauty and weight-loss.

It has vitamin B2 that helps boost your metabolism, which burns fat faster. No need to take those large, hard-to-swallow, weight loss pills when you can happily ingest your favorite dairy product.

Cheese also contains vitamin A which aids in dry skin and blemishes; so, no need to stress about your face changing while you’re on this diet. This essential vitamin also promotes your immune system health, so you’re at a lower risk of getting a cold.

Another type of vitamin A is retinol which increases the rate of turnover in your skin, which means no wrinkles and plenty of moisture.

Cheese fills your stomach in a way that makes you feel full and can prevent overeating. If you’ve been on diets before, you know what that empty condition feels like but cheese prevents those impulsive hunger strikes and cravings.

Cheese is the secret to eternal youth, beauty, internal health, and weight loss. What’s not to love?

Studies have shown that cheese is the reason why French people are so healthy and have such a long life-expectancy, thanks to eating about 57 pounds of cheese per year.

Let us embrace this beautiful lactose gift by saying, “pass me that slice of pizza s’il vous plait.”

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