Can Your Relationship Go the Distance?
By: Veronica Pistek
Whether you’ve been together for two months or two years, communication is never perfect.
Let’s be honest, it seems like life always wants you to question everything, especially love and your partner.
It’s time that you both take this exhausting “second guessing” and turn it into conversations that could ease your relationship—and help you go the distance together.
First off, has your partner ever been in previous relationships? This could be very important to you and your new boo.
If you want your relationship to remain bulletproof, it’s best to get all of the awkward questions about past love out of the way.
Even better, this question leads to insight that is essential in determining if they are the one for you.
Don’t be nervous, find out why their past love failed and how they are willing to learn from it and become a stronger partner.
Overall, this simple but kind of unsettling topic digs a path for important conversations, and setting goals for your partnership from the start.
Focus on the little things. Believe it or not, questioning your partner’s silly likes and dislikes opens the door to compatibility. Specifically, what are their present preferences?
Everyone’s preferences change with time. The more you investigate their current taste, the more you can see if you’d rather be with them for the long run, or ditch them at the starting line.
Now, this doesn’t have to be serious. Find out what makes them itch with excitement and drives them completely insane.
Don’t be afraid to also share your quirks and pet peeves. Odds are that this conversation can go on for hours, and can help you get to know your partner better than you thought.
Knowing your partner’s preferences paves the way to the juicier question. How important is sexual intimacy?
Find out your partner’s desires and their restrictions. For a relationship to be steady and successful, sexual intimacy is just as important as the little things.
Take time to discover the best ways to please each other in bed. No matter how taboo or quite crazy it seems, you should both want only the best for each other, romantically and physically.
If you spend time only looking for the best ways to have sex with your partner rather than ways to cheat on them, then your relationship should be able to stand the test of time.
In this day and age, it’s nothing new to hear about who cheated on who. You may have strong values about cheating, or you may have a loose definition on what counts as faithful.
Question your partner, what do you define as an infidelity? Though it may be clear that you both are interested in one another, it’s best to know for sure what your significant other counts as cheating.
For some, it may include talking to someone about their preferred gender, whereas for others, cheating includes the act of touching another, thinking about another, or even talking to another.
You need to make sure you are on the same page, and secure loyalty for one another in the way that is satisfactory for you both.
Last but surely not least, what is their definition of love? Love is capable of having so many meanings.
Your partner’s definition may be that love is spending a lot of time together and being vulnerable.
Maybe your definition of love is showing appreciation for each other through words, buying gifts, and constant reassurance.
This is a broad, yet imperative topic for you and your loved one to discuss. This question is the root of your relationship, take it seriously.
If in fact it is the case that you have different definitions of love, it is up to both of you to try and bridge that gap. Make a conscious effort to give love and to receive love.
So, standing the test of time actually takes time. You can only have a strong and enduring relationship by asking the questions, not questioning yourself and your partner.
If you choose to use these topics to discuss your relationship, you’ll never run out of rich conversation.
Most importantly, these deep talks will make you feel closer to each other and ultimately will help you make your love last.