April Fools!

Cortez is Coming for the Nomination

The New Congresswoman that Americans are Falling in Love With

By: Dejon Virgo

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez announcing her bid for president of the U.S. (Credit: ncronline.org)

The field fighting for the 2020 Democratic nomination just got bigger with freshman Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez joining the already crowded line of Democrats that want to take on President Donald J. Trump.

This may come as a shock to some people who say she is only 29 years old and therefore can’t run for president because she’s not 35 years or older.

Recently Congress passed a new amendment that changed the minimum age for a president to 29 years old. Cortez must be a very lucky women but nevertheless she’s running for the nomination.

Some people may remember her historic win against former Congressman and fourth in line to be Speaker of the House Joe Crowley.

She worked really hard, going door to door in her district and spreading her message. She has promised to do the same thing for her presidential bid, going door to door in every state to win.

Cortez supports single-payer Medicare for all that will provide healthcare for every single American and how will she pay for it? Don’t worry about that because the healthcare system is terrible in America and it will happen with the crowds of people who support her.

She also supports free public college and trade school but who will be paying for this? The people who are going to school because they have big dreams and they should able to get a free education so they can break into the job market.

Another policy she supports is a federal job guarantee which will control inflation and unemployment because capitalism is too stupid for our economy and the government should be giving out jobs like candy.

Cortez also supports abolishing the U.S Immigration and Customs Enforcement because it’s too inhumane to track down illegal aliens who cross the border and commit crimes. The government does know who they are but we can trust our guts that they won’t kill Americans.

Gun control is also one of her policy positions because all these mass shooting are the result of uncontrolled guns, so everyone who is a law abiding citizen must turn in their guns to the government.

What about the 2nd amendment? She will sign an executive order to get rid of it.

The Green New Deal is Cortez’s signature plan to fight climate change and move to 100% renewable energy. This will result in no cars, no planes, and no more meat so sorry farmers.

She introduced this legislation with Senator Ed Markey of Massachusetts. Her tax policy, a 70% tax on the top one percent of income earners, will pay for the Green New Deal.

Cortez also calls herself a Democratic Socialist which is connected to the Socialist Party of America, but she’s not a Socialist she just has progressive policies that every American supports.

She also announced her running mate if she wins the primary. Michael Cohen will help her get the votes of the white working class after his bombshell testimony to the House Oversight Committee.

Cohen wants to be part of a campaign that will defeat his former boss, President Trump.

Cortez will be interesting to see clash with Joe Biden, who is more of a moderate and doesn’t support most of her policies.

Bernie Sanders is running and also identifies as a Democratic Socialist. Sanders, however, is an old white male so progressive voters might go with a fresh Latinx woman from the Bronx instead.

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