April Fools!

Dolphins Move Into CSI and Students are Kicked Out

CSI President Set to Destroy Dorms for Students

By: Sammy Quarrato 

The future home of our new students and old students. Photo Credit: rockpapershotgun.com

The President of CSI has come out today with a joyful smile stating that he is: “Happy to say that the dorms will be destroyed and used as a safe haven for a better cause.”

You are probably wondering what the cause is, well, it’s for the newest students of CSI, a group of bright individuals who will be the fin of our old dorms.

The reason for completely changing the dorms is that it does not suit the needs of these students, and here at CSI we wish to grant them all a space to feel safe.

These foreign exchange students are from a different side of the world, a different landscape, a different ocean.

The Indian Ocean has proven too chaotic for them to be in a learning environment suitable for their needs.

Lucky for them, us students, professors, and staff are willing to lend a helping hand, because we tolerate everyone else, no matter what.

As said previously, these are all bright individuals, and we would like to make them feel as if they were home.

Yes, these students are ready to dive right into academic fields, with a strong focus on Marine Biology.

These students are also one of the fastest swimmers there is, they even have some in their group who Michael Phelps has complimented.

Yes, these students are the newest students we’ve been expecting, the Dolphins of the Indian Ocean.

Now, to those living in the dorms, you must be wondering why you haven’t heard of such a thing.

Well, it’s simple, the President gave the staff a vote, and it was unanimous that they wished for this to happen.

One staff member stated, “Students need to learn to accept other ways of life, even if it means to interrupt and change our ways, because it’s not correct in a certain way if we don’t.”.

Now, students have approximately 24 hours, today, to get their belongings ready, or else be caught in the destruction of their once safe dorms they could rely on to provide them with the basic necessities of life itself.

But, there is a new offer to the same students who have lived there, and it’s one you wouldn’t want to miss.

For a limited time, these students can live side by side with their new peers, a potential once in a lifetime opportunity.

They will also be providing scuba gear to be living with these inspiring individuals, the first 3 tanks are free, but each after will be going for 25$ for a medium tank.

You must also be wondering how you will be sleeping in such a revolutionary area, and it’s actually quite simple.

The President has also come out and said for you to even be there, every Dolphin must background check you.

If you even said a negative thing on social media that speaks badly about the Indian Ocean Dolphins, you are banned from there.

If you spoke to a staff about it, they reported it, already.

If you even spoke to your friend or significant other and they live in the dorms, or well, used to, they most likely told the administration of your intolerant behavior.

Even if you’re thinking of it, and having a disapproving face, they know.

This college is ready to revolutionize the purpose of an educational establishment and lead the way for tolerance, acceptance, and most of all, different ways of living.

Get ready to make way for the new revolution, because if you aren’t, you’ll be left behind.

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